I wrote a story for you about an interesting encounter I had recently. Great story, but I couldn’t properly capture the ending. After weeks of re-writing I gave up, thinking…
…maybe this isn’t my story to tell.
…maybe I don’t have the skill to bring this together.
…no one will ever know if I don’t publish it.
Then I remembered my golden rule: say what you mean in the simplest way possible.
So, here’s what I want to say, without pretense or story arc.
In a little coffee shop, sitting with a new friend, the world became slightly less complicated as I realized that wanting to be seen – really seen, for who we fully are – is a universal desire that crosses gender, race, age, culture and all the other classifications that try to separate us.
But here’s the rub. Before we can be seen by others, we need to first see ourselves.
We all get a bit lost along the way. Life bullies us around. We give in to fear. We dim, and we shrink.
Our people pleasing, rule following and believing them (the others) instead of ourselves, leaves us as a character in our own lives. We become so accustomed to (addicted to?) playing a role, we can’t see it’s replaced our true self.
Eventually, some of us will have the courage or be desperate enough to wake up and reclaim ourselves. And I do believe it is a reclaiming, not a “New You” to be created.
Maybe there are people lucky enough to ease into this awareness. But not me. I prefer the long way around. Brene Brown best sums up my experience: “It was an ugly street fight, and even though I got my ass kicked, it was the best thing that ever happened to me.”
It’s going to be messy.
But if you can no longer ignore that deep longing to discover the real you. That longing to be seen as You instead of the character you’ve fallen into.
And if you’re scared and wondering if it will be worth it.
Please, come have a seat with me. I want you to hear this:
Resist the allure of yet another layer of shiny armour disguised as “New You.”
Instead of a New You, how ‘bout you become a deeper, fuller version of who you already are? Not the person you think you should be. Not the person others say you should be.
The real you. The person you were meant to be, with a unique combination of gifts and talents and quirks. And flaws. Oh, honey, we all have them. We’re human.
I have a hunch the real you – you fully embraced – is way more appealing than any shiny new version.
Show me your scars.
Your wisdom. Gained from the doing, the failing and then doing some more.
Your laugh. Ya know, the one that can only come after you’ve felt the pain.
How? you ask.
By deeply listening to your body, your heart and your soul. By employing a depth of self-honesty that will test your resolve.
In these practices you will start to re-discover You.
And, you know that thing you’re afraid to say out loud? The one that seems just a little too much? That’s a clue. Your True Self is in there. Look a little deeper.
Let me see You.